Yay or Nay?: A Raw Review of James Gray's "Ad Astra" (Film)

So, this is going to be a rather unconventional review this week. I actually meant to put it up about 2 weeks ago, but life got in the way. There is a little backstory behind this, since it is not the normal type of formatted review I usually do. A couple weeks ago, my cousin visited me from Germany (and he knows who he is since he reads this blog!), and I took him to see Ad Astra because it seemed cool, I had no idea what it was about, and he seemed pretty interested in it as well. 

And while it's basically American Beauty's introspective symbolism meets space thriller, and while I can appreciate what the film tried to do in that, if you go, it does not have a focus on space but of the man himself, I hated it. So did my cousin too, and in fact, it bothered him and I so much that we actually made a list of raw reasons to show Olga. And she loved the list so much, that she told me I had to post it on here, raw in it's original format, to share with all of you! So, I will brief you with a quick overview of the story, and then you can read the raw list as we wrote it. I warn you that it contains heavy spoilers, and probably references that if you haven't seen it, it will not make sense. But we're showing you the angry list in raw and unedited form, and we hope you'll have some fun reading it!

The Story

Taken lovingly from Rotten Tomatoes, simply because I need a clean overview of the story that doesn't get caught up in itself, as I tend to do: 

"Thirty years ago, Clifford McBride led a voyage into deep space, but the ship and crew were never heard from again. Now his son -- a fearless astronaut -- must embark on a daring mission to Neptune to uncover the truth about his missing father and a mysterious power surge that threatens the stability of the universe" you can view the rest of the stats for Ad Astra here, though, if you want

And now, without further ado, I give you the list of reasons why NOT to see Ad Astra along with the reasons why we found it didn't make sense. 

The List 

-first scene is never explained, was weird but spacey gave an idea of space but not really.

-parachute scene is shit and guy shouldn’t have survived.

-American beauty in space.

-monkey scene is stupid.

-badly explained problem- they don’t explain why bad things are happening just that they are.

-why do they need that guy specifically? Whole trip just to send a message, no voice modifiers or recorders? Whole trip is pointless. They didn’t want him to meet his dad anyway.

-Crew from Mars Ship are dumbasses, enough said.

-you can still drive regular cars on the moon, and survive big craters which is not realistic.

-pillows on commercial moon flights cost 125$

-moon base is tourism and commercially based-but there’s a fight over resources but what resources? They say mining colonies but we don’t see that. We don’t know who’s fighting over it-just moon pirates which are aligned with countries. They don’t use guns when they should and the guy who’s known for rational decision making doesn’t after 2 guys die.

-old guy as his supervisor? HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK SINCE HES OLD AND WOULDNT PASS AN EXAM!

-space physics aren’t explained or don’t make sense.

-mars crews motives aren’t specific enough.

-feel good pills not sure if candy or actual pills, which is a problem.

-who sent the signal on the Norway ship. Where’s the body? Why’s there a monkey? What was the point. You can open everything with a mayday lock. Why? Never hear about this scene like ever.

-what happened to ship? Is it recovered or what?

-whole thing is that this guy can’t have a fast heartbeat over 75 and then they have him make stupid stuff.

-Backup Captain is a stupid guy who gets scared and nearly kills them. Heartbeat guy says he won’t tell nasa about the fact which makes no sense. Guy isn’t fit for duty.

-the surge isn’t strong on Neptune but it should knock out his entire ship but doesn’t
-on mars greeted by lady, who’s director of facility but doesn’t have clearance to top mission he’s in. Also never addressed how she gets top secret information. Also she doesn’t need to send him bechsss they were gonna destroy the Neptune project anyway.

-he runs in a full white space suit.

-climbs in through airlock during rocket ignition and can hold onto the rocket while sustaining G force.

-Astronauts don’t know how to address air breach or how to deal with it other than to kill him. Before they make it seem like there will be a relationship with them but you could literally make anyone replace them.

-Command never responds to him and that makes no sense.

-79 days alone isn’t a huge deal. Why does he inject himself with a feeding tube? They can eat things in space and it’s not like he’s going into hyper sleep. Even if he is we don’t know?

-why all military? When did they get there before him?

-goes crazy on mars but isn’t prepared for it. We don’t know why he goes crazy other than the fact his dad finally responded after 16 years.

-when he gets angry so out of character, and fact his heart rate rises only addressed once. And don’t listen psych Evals even though he was told he’d be constantly evaluated.

-docks space shuttle outside ring but entered space shuttle manually. WHY.

-bodies don’t decay or freeze normally or act normally in space.

-black and white tv playing in space! Why is that a thing?

-father doesn’t answer his calls but let’s him enter. No reason. Clearly no answer for being there.

-father looks and acts NORMAL DESPITE SIGNS CLAIMING HES GONE NUTS AND THAT NEPTUNE TRAVEL IS LEGIT psychologically and physically Tolling on the body, both son and father are normal.

-they make it sound like he’s psychologically tortured and that Neptune travel takes a toll
-interaction with dad “hi father, hi son, I don’t like you. I never did."

-leaves with dad. Dad decides to kill him self by dragging son with him and telling him to let him go. Son kinda just takes it, and like let’s him go.

-then there’s this seen with the light suggesting aliens but they also make it really clear that there’s no aliens. So message is rather unclear, light is not addressed either. Then kinda seems he may go continue his father’s work but doesn’t.

-no repercussion of blowing up anti matter with nuclear waste.

-father says he can’t figure out how to stop antimatter but NASA just say they’ll blow it up. It’s a solution.

-surfs through Neptune’s rings which are basically pebbles, and skydives through it. Even with propulsion will.

-waits for the rocket and perfectly lands—suddenly navigation changes to make it seem farther than he is. How does he have enough supplies? Is hyper speed a thing.

-how does rocket get back perfectly. Was supposed to go as far as mars. How has he not been court martialled for not killing 5 people and stealing a rocket?

-is he back together with his wife? He’s emotionless why would he want a wife?

The Rating

So, as you probably already guessed, we didn't like this film one bit!! We would not recommend you go see it, or get it when it comes out! 

The Rating: Ironically, the film meaning "to the stars" will not be going to get "to the stars" we rate Ad Astra: ⭐

~Meghan