Star-Crossed Myth: Leon -- Day Three (Otome Game) (Joint Review)

This review, well, I don't think Olga was too happy to do. Actually, she was vomiting throughout most of it, but I (Meghan), adored Leon's route. 

Olga also just realized she IS Leon, so I'm not sure what that says about me.
(Olga: I guess it mean you wanna do unspeakable things to me... I'll need to sleep with one eye open next time you come over :-p)

We realized that we'd both chosen Dep. of Punishments dudes, so it wouldn't be fair at all if we just had them and didn't pay attention to our lovely Department of Wishes gods. 

So, go big or go home, we chose the wild lion himself. Leon, god of Leo. And because we did this route together as part of our big monthly review, we've decided to do it story-by-story!

Just an FYI, Olga calls MC- stupid woman in honor of Scorpio, so that's how she will refer to her throughout the review. I can't stop these Scorpios anymore :P (Meghan)

Minister of the Department of Wishes, and possibly has the most demanding personality we have ever encountered.

His power: giving you the best orgasms of your life.

Wait….

Wait, let us explain...

STORY 1

Technically, it's a little more than that. But he can give people what he calls "pleasure". However, Leon did something a lot different than just giving "pleasure" in the first frigging story.

The beginning of this route started off in a very weird way. Not unwelcomed...but let’s be honest. Weird. But...that...is...a...good...power?

Leon’s way of trying to bribe you is giving you multiple orgasms...and she RUNS AWAY.

TO THE POLICE? BUT WHY! If there was a guy trying to give us orgasms, then he’s a keeper!

Yes, what are we going to do with you? 

Of course, that’s useless, he’s a god (as he’s pointed out a million times), of course, he’ll catch you when you’re trying to run away.

I think Scorpio even FEELS BAD that we picked Leon. Imagine that, SCORPIO? Those are the dominating horoscopes, after all.

I’d like to know the science of touching MC to regain powers. I know we’re not supposed to think about that, but like, does it bring out her immortal side? Did the King pre-plan this? So many questions

Olga: Let me throw my two cents in here. My theory is, that the producers of this game wanted some steamy shit to happen, so they decided to make skin-to-skin touch a requirement for the power to help trigger that. But then some stupid person said, “Oh our players must be prudes, we can’t have any of that, his orgasm powers are enough!”. But then it was too late in the production schedule, so that had to keep that part without any real reason.  

STORY 2

Scorpio is baffled that she chose Leon instead of him.  He says…

Meghan: I think Scorpio is both of us in this game, for some parts.

Leon doesn’t have time for people he has no use for. Practical. We can respect that.

They send Stupid Woman to buy them clothes. What? No Amazon?

Scary space in the mansion? Well, we know where MC is gonna end up at some point.

She returns to her room. Thinks she’s dreaming when she wakes up. Goes to buy the God’s clothes. Did you not ask their tastes?

Hiyori heard that, and I quote “she’s going to serve this guy for all eternity”. Was this posted on Leon’s Facebook?

Olga: Hiyori should be concerned for her friend being a slave for all fucking eternity… she’s a bad friend. Meghan wouldn’t be like this if I were Stupid Woman! She proved herself during last Oktoberfest.

Leon is like…

THIS WOMAN WILL SURVE ME FUR ALL ETERNITYYYYYY.

Or so we imagined.

Stupid Woman walks in some guys in the tub

And...Teorus’ is naked.

OH.

DEAR.

GOD.

DID WE WALK IN ON AN EPIC ORGY??

And they didn’t even invite us. Bastards.

Then they chase after MC naked.

Apparently, Leon is also Olga because they both want to be begged to.

Olga: You don’t know power until someone begs you

STORY 3

Leo and some other dudes are being pleasured by a bunch of prostitutes in the living room.

So Olga has decided that if she ever becomes a dominatrix (her plan B), she will take lessons from Leo.

“Give me some love Goldie”- Meghan’s favorite line from Teorus.

But let’s face it Teorus, the Lion always wins.

Andddd now he has no more use for his “other women”.

It occurs to us that Wishes Gods are better (and worse) than Punishments people. Nice little inversion there.

The Song for this route is Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up

Leo won’t kiss, as we find out. But...he’ll do other things (winkwink...wink).

Olga is attracted to Leon’s manly strength.

Meghan is attracted to that dominating charisma.

We both wanted a threesome to happen at this point. It was inevitable.

With power everything goes your way- YES- Olga approved.

So he wants MC to show him that love exists. We detect sarcasm.

But MC is like…

And we learn that Leo “defiled” a high-ranking goddess, and that’s why he was banished from the Heavens. Which puts something else in perspective. You defile a goddess Leon, but then your solution to get back is to...ask to defile (we hate that word) an ex-goddess???.

And now he has no more use for Stupid Woman except for powers.

She leaves and comes to the mansion the next day.

STORY 4

She thinks he wants sex when he asks her to do him a favor. But Leon’s like “pfff, get your head out of the gutter girl, I just want you to open a curtain!”

And, dress him because “he doesn’t know how to put on clothes.”

Mhmm suuuureeeeee.

Teach him, he says.

And she does.

She makes meatballs with tomato sauce and brings them to the mansion

Turns out, Leon really likes them meatballs. He wants to lick those balls and bite into their juicy meaty goodness. This route could turn Yaoi very quickly.

He calls himself her “Master”. Holy fuck this is Olga.

Olga: I can confirm. Meghan calls me her Mistress after all. Also a queen. And a goddess. Comment down below if you think we’re lesbians. (Meghan: WE’RE NOT! It’s the only way I can get her to edit my boring rhetoric papers!!!!)

But gods don’t need food, hence, they don’t need meatballs. But Leon scrutinizes a meatball and declares that “it’s not bad. It doesn’t displease me.”

PRAISE MEATBALL

Time skip to Stupid Woman in the bath. She’s being summoned, so she dunks her head underwater. Someone’s suddenly in the apartment! Is it a robber? Superman?

...Or perhaps an impatient god.

And then once he gives her an eyeful she realizes she naked. Cause you know, one totally needs hours to realize they’re naked when in the bath.

We meet Vega afterward as they go to get some Department of Wishes work done.

And we discover that Leon, as a leader is both feared, loved, and respected, mainly because of his enormous powers. He’s one of the most powerful deities in the Heavens.

MC learns about Leon’s reflecting pool, where he can review and grant wishes as he likes.

Leon doesn’t grant wishes, however, to see happy faces.

And Stupid Woman tells him why he should be, in true Stupid Woman fashion.

STORY 5

Leon brings Stupid Woman to a bath and wants her to wait on him. What is he? Emperor Kuzco?

It is not dangerous to drink alcohol in the bath! Meghan does it all the time listening to All I Want by Kodaline and crying.

So she serves him. And he reveals his chest and Stupid Woman freaks out because he showed some skin.

HE IS TAKING A BATH. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

She sees his mark, and Leon is convinced that if he keeps doing his job he’ll be able to go home.

He pushes her onto the floor. Stupid Woman is like “get off me”. Leon sees some underwear, and she’s like...

And Leon’s like

Olga: Some sexual harassment just happened #calltheHRdepartment

Referring to what he did with the goddess.

And she’s like...

Apparently, the goddess made advances him, and when he rejected her she went crazy and was kicked out of the Heavens. So Leon actually didn’t do anything to her, other than refuse to love a goddess.

Because he doesn’t believe in love. He’s a nihilist in love.

Meghan: I could sit down and have a drink with this guy. You know, in a bath. Where all philosophical conversations happen.

Olga: Yes, you definitely sit with a guy in the bath for the philosophy.

TEORUS COMES IN NAKED (We ship it).

And Ichthys who’s like “you should hang with us.”

Splendid idea cinnamon rolls.

Now, Ichthys wants to try out his powers by touching her, and she falls into the bath. Meghan: Bet you he planned that, little devil :P

She’s drowning, and Leon saves her. Knight in valiant armor.

Stupid Woman has a moment where she’s like “what...I may have something towards this guy”

Vega tells Leon that he has to go to the human world to grant a wish in person.

Turns out it was Hiyori’s wish they had to grant, and then we meet her boyfriend she’s been telling us about. We think he’s a douchebag.

They get into an argument, and the boyfriend gets on a train. Hiyori is sad.

MC is like no! Hiyori wanted to make up with him.

Leon’s like “Nah she didn’t wish for that.”

Good. She might be better off without him.

But that doesn’t happen.

Stupid Woman and Leon have a discussion about how Hiyori may have said those things, but not meant them. Leon thinks that it’s not good to lie.

Leon’s got a point.

They see Hiyori, who’s upset. MC tells her to meet her at a park, but instead, gets Leon to make sure both Hiyori and boyfriend “accidentally” meet.

Leon’s like “this is ridiculous”.

Hiyori’s scarf flies off her and boyfriend catches it. They make up, and MC is super happy.

In essence, Hiyori and Stupid Woman try to make themselves miserable by ensuring that the other is in a codependent abusive relationship. That’s the real meaning of this story,

STORY 6

Things are slow at the planetarium where MC and Hiyori work.

Karno shows up at the mansion. For those who don’t know Karno is Leon’s vice-minister.

MC is impressed by Karno, it seems.

This chapter was slow. Just like the business at the planetarium. We have nothing to say. Olga just wants the end to come.

STORY 7

The gods are in the dining hall. Is it a dinner party? Let’s find out.

Karno can use his powers because he’s not exiled.

-So they are having a dinner party, and Leon doesn’t like the food, so he makes meatballs appear.

Aweeeeeee (we thought this was cute).

But they don’t taste the same and he likes Stupid Woman’s Meatballs better.

(Aweee)

It’s a Department of Wishes Party!

Leon gets annoyed he wants to leave. MC is a little tipsy, she drank a bit too much at the party.

She’s going to Leon’s scary door!

-She walks in…

It's a meadow. Pretty cool!

It's on Earth, but it’s like a place in the Heavens that Leon really likes.

(Meghan loves this part)

Leon talks about how all the negative feeling is corroding the purity of the Earth.

Stupid Woman asks if Leon’s been in love, and he’s convinced that love is like a drug.

(Oh Leon...that’s so sad)

”The only thing worth anything is your power”- Olga has officially declared her love for Leon. Kinda, she sees herself in him. So she loves herself, we guess.

MC realizes she’s never really thought about love, and she may have glorified it a little. (FINALLY, STUPID WOMAN DEVELOPS)

Meghan is swooning, and Olga is ready to vomit. She’s too much like Scorpio!

Vomit bags on standby.

STORY 8

Hiyori is gonna meet her boyfriend for a romantic date in the planetarium. But then they disappear from their seats!

They’re going at it, but boyfriend did not get consent, and now MC and Leon have to save Hiyori from getting raped!

-She tells Leon she’ll do whatever he wants if he can save Hiyori.

Boyfriend: “don’t bother us.” And Hiyori is scared, and boyfriend calls her a tease.

WHAT. AN. ASSHOLE.

MC slaps him.

YOU GO MC. BEAT THAT MOTHERFUCKER.

Finally, that Stupid Woman did something useful here!

MC feels bad for suggesting that Hiyori do this whole thing at the planetarium.

Leon and her talk about how Hiyori has had a valuable learning experience.

(But did it have to be that bad?)

Hiyori thinks that Stupid Woman and Leon are dating, but they’re not.

Then MC says she thinks Leon is sweet.

She’s not allowed to make a face like that without Leon’s permission. Meaning that Leon’s embarrassed by the face that she’s making. What was the context of this? (I think it was like a good face...or a weird face...either way listen to Leon!-Meghan)

MC invites Leon to a star-festival in the city to thank him.

STORY 9

They’re at the star festival now.

Leon gets cocky and is like “thanking your master makes you happy”

THIS. GUY. IS. OLGA.

They find a goldfish booth, which is hilarious since that’s what the gods call humans.

And the goldfish love him.

Aweee, fireworks in shape of a heart. Olga doesn’t like them, but Meghan loves them. Cuz’ she’s a pyromaniac.

They meet Zyglavis there! Meghan: AYYY MAH BOI

They think he’s cosplaying too. Which is hilarious.

Leon and Zyglavis have a little stand-off.

By little, kinda big? (Olga: That’s what she said)

Zyglavis accuses Leon of being in love with MC. Shit will hit the fan soon.

He warns Leon that MC is clouding his judgment.

Zyglavis sends a fireball at them. Meghan is Zyglavis. This is turning out to be a real soul-searcher game.)

Leon unleashes his power to defend MC, which he can’t do because it might destroy the world.

-MC tries to stop him.

Teorus and Huedhaut take her back to the mansion after this fiasco.

STORY 10

He’s like why would you save me. MC is like “my body just moved on its own!”. Stupid Woman may need to go to the doctor to check for muscle spasms.

She goes home and Teorus shows up in her apartment. She’s sad about the goldfish they won that probably died after Zyglavis decided to become a dick.

Huedhaut also shows.

Leon’s mark has faded even more, so it’s almost time for him to go back to the Heavens

She goes back to the mansion and finds a fishbowl in Leon’s room. The little fishy was saved!

He’s decided to grant MC one wish. (Meghan: Aweeee) (Olga: BLEEEECHHHH)

She wants to see the stars. Girl, you see the stars every day!

Olga just projectile vomited everywhere. Meghan refuses to clean that shit up.

Leon’s power slowly returns.

Turns out that wish he granted was because he knows he’s leaving and this was goodbye

STORY 11

Turns out Leon can’t control his power any longer. His mark of sin is almost completely gone.

Zyglavis appears and tells her that Leon has to go back. Karno is with them.

Karno tells her if she dies then she can go to Heaven, but must forget her life on Earth.

MC can do that and begs Leon to take her with him

They go to the Heavens, to the Courtroom to be tried.

Leon asks her if she’s scared, and MC is like “no because I’m with you”.

Olga vomited. Meghan swooned.

STORY 12

The trial commences.

Leon’s like “all the gods are being toyed with by the King”

Leon loses his shit, and everyone’s like oh no.

Zyglavis is making him choose god or human.

She can’t return to Earth if he loses his power as a god.

(Oh the dilemma)

To prove he’s impartial, Leon is told to kill MC.

Leon loses his shit while kissing her. And by shit, meaning, he’s gonna destroy the Heavens because he thinks:

Except, you know, power. 

MC tries to stop him by hugging him and gets electrocuted in the process.

She basically is dying at this point.

Leon you need to cut the shit.

And thankfully he does. Which surprises the court, and the King of the Heavens shows up.

Olga is trying to figure out if he looks like Galadriel or Legolas. Or an attractive woman.

BLESSED ENDING

They ask the king to let them be together and make an exception to the rules.

King gives Leon a ring, which will stop his power from interfering with his powers on Earth.

King disappears.

Leon sweeps her off her feet and takes her to the meadow. Trust us, we want some guy to do this to us someday.

They make-out.

He picks her up, MC cries.

Leon kisses her forehead. In the same manner, one would kiss their grandma on Christmas.

Olga is very disappointed that this ending is so G-rated.

Meghan lovesss this ending! 4 Stars!

FORBIDDEN ENDING

Everything goes white, and King is like “you’re destined for each other’

They end up in a lake.

Have some flashbacks which make MC smile.

Leon takes her to a boat by the shore

MC tells him she loves him

Leon says he will always love her

Leon sends her away. (WHAT ????!!!!! MEGHAN IS ENRAGED)

She ends up in the room at the mansion

All the gods are there

She’s so happy to be with Leon

She would’ve almost died if she didn’t give in to the river

Leon is happy she’s with him

She cried when she thought he was gone

He kisses her cheek. In the same way, your aunt would at a family reunion.

Olga is disappointed. But also happy this ordeal is over.
Meghan didn't like this ending as much.

Our Ratings

Meghan: Mine is 4 stars. Really enjoyed this route, despite the fact I can laugh at its silly moments. Definitely a read of this game. Check it out!

Olga: 2.5 Stars. Good start, bad ending.